Lily of the Valley

2011-02-20T09:33:00.003-05:00

Broken hearts and shattered dreams
Is all this world can offer, it seems.
My soul is torn between two places
Of worldly desire and heavenly spaces.
My life's in shambles, how will it mend?
My broken heart, who will defend?
A tattered road, so cold, so long
I need Your comfort, Lord make me strong.
I've tried and tried to no avail
Without Your help My efforts fail.
You search me, You know me, You love me still
Throughout this life Your truth's been revealed.
Your yoke is easy and Your burden light
Be anxious for nothing, I can trust in Your might.

More Random Thoughts...

2010-08-19T11:14:00.004-04:00

Well, I've been back home now for a little over 2 weeks.

It's funny; after a long visit to CA, I couldn't wait to come back home. Now I feel a little sad to be back. This extended visit allowed me to spend a lot of time with my niece and nephew and I enjoyed every minute of it.

School starts next week, so that will definitely keep me busy, along with work. Been hoping for a promotion...we'll see what happens.

There is a huge list (in my head) of things I need to do/accomplish; now if I could just write them down.

My brother Joseph is planning to move out here in January. That will be challenging, but very rewarding as well. I am looking forward to him staying with me and starting school out here. He is very talented and I know he will succeed in whatever he decides to do.

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T23:03:00.005-04:00

Dad

I am so thankful to have you in my life
You showed me persistence, you taught me to strive.

There were so many times you could have given up
It wasn’t always easy, but you stayed because of love.

You told me “hang in there, things will get better”
Those words remain in my heart, even twenty years later.

A man of few words, describes you so well
The things you have spoken are engraved in my soul.

Childhood was difficult, it was painful, you know
With so much responsibility, too fast I had to grow.

I missed out on so much life, but now I can see
It kept me out of trouble and taught me to be.

Diligent in your work, to provide for us all
Didn’t complain or grumble, but always stood tall.

Your perseverance and strength does not go unseen
I misjudged those qualities as you being mean.

You only did your best, did what you could
Now I am older, I see it was good.

You are truly an inspiration, to our family
Revered and well-regarded, especially to me.

It’s funny how things turn out, I never thought I would have
Felt so much respect and honor to call you “my dad.”

I love you Dad,

© Andrea Rodriguez

Summer in CA

2010-05-23T10:48:00.004-04:00

The last post I was visiting CA for my great-granfather's 90th birthday in Sept. I have been back twice since then. This time is a much lenghthier visit...the whole summer! Just last friday I graduated from MCC with my Associates in Arts degree :) and this coming August I will transfer to a 4 year college to get my BA. It's long overdo, but such a great feeling to accomplish something.

I get to see my little brothers graduate High School soon and am very excited about that! There's been a lot going on, but it may be too much to write down in one sitting, so I guess I need to actually take time to journal again.

Hello Love

2010-04-03T21:00:00.002-04:00

Hello my love
How I’ve longed for you

The gentleness you bring,
Like a breeze, takes my breath away

Your color, so brilliant
Shine through for all to see

Oh how I miss you when you are away
But I know for long you can’t stay

For every year I await you
Anticipating the beauty you bring

It consumes the very fabric of my being
To know that I was created

To see you, to touch you, to smell you
To know you in all your splendor

The joy you bring is breathtaking
Causing my heart to tremble

Seeing you, touching you, smelling you
Everywhere I go, I am astonished

I’m in awe…

You are beautiful
Everything you bring is beautiful

I delight in my Creator
For your very existence is His creation

Andrea Rodriguez

My Morningstar

2010-02-06T11:56:00.002-05:00

The road’s been hard
It’s been real tough
I’ve been through hard times
And seen a lot of stuff

It hasn’t always been easy
This you all know
I’ve traveled down roads
No man dare go

I fought the good fight
I won the race
I’ve served my country
And now I stand face to face

With the One who gave it all
So that we may have life
A life everlasting
Without pain, without strife

Throughout this life
I’ve found Great Love
One that’s not temporal
But to forever be in awe of

I’ve seen God’s glory
What an indescribable sight
I can’t wait for you to join me
Until then, I’ll hold tight

I hope you’ll recognize me
Now that I’m whole
I’ve got a new body
But I’m still the same soul

You should see this place
It’s too wonderful for words
Everything is beautiful
It reminds me of “my girls”

My dear family
My daughters and wife
You’ve given me joy,
You’ve given me life

Though I’m happy here
I miss you, and love you by far
Especially my darling
My sweet Morningstar

In Loving Memory of James Paul Bremer January 25, 1952-December 30, 2009
By: Andréa Rodriguez

Great Grandfather's 90th

2009-10-21T01:46:00.003-04:00

I went to home to CA for my great grandfather's 90Th birthday and also celebrated my 31st in September. I had such a great time! It's always good to be near family and friends. I haven't spent my birthday with family for almost 7 years, so this was a real treat.

As far as the 90Th; it was a roaring 20's theme, and of course the majority of people dressed up as gangsters and flapper girls. My brother Joseph, who is well know for going against the flow, dressed up as Groucho Marx.

This is the first pic that all 6 of us kids have ever taken!

Happy 18th Birthday

2009-07-01T21:21:00.003-04:00

Today is my brother Joseph's birthday. I was planning to make a surprise visit to see him, but it didn't work out. Instead, I am flying him out here on Friday for a couple weeks...Yay!!!

Fun with the Gals!

2009-06-25T23:38:00.001-04:00

Lisa had a week of freedom since her hubby took the kids to Indiana. She wanted to go to the mountains, so I suggested we go camping. So on Thursday we headed out to Stone Mountain and it was absolutely gorgeous! From the time we entered the park there were deer coming from everywhere to greet us. I've never seen anything like it before. We set up our site and really roughed it out like champs!

Friday we went for a hike. It was an amazing site to see. I proudly hiked to the summit and figured we were done...

Well...

I know about the "Trail of Tears," but I had experienced the trail of MY tears. We went down to a beautiful waterfall and I thought that was it until we spotted people at the very bottom. We then proceeded to walk down to the creek. The walk down wasn't so bad. It was nice to get our feet wet since it was hot outside. The water was ice cold, but it was refreshing. The view was perfect.

Our friend Tammy was going to meet us at the site, so it was time to head back up. OKAY...I have never felt so exhausted, dehydrated and overexerted that I almost passed out! Lisa, being in the great shape she is in couldn't understand why I was so tired. It wouldn't have been so bad if she would've packed more than 3 waters; 1 for me, 1 for her and 1 for the dog! I drank the dog's water.

So I finally made it back up to the top. After I got past the stairs I was OK. We got back to the site and Tammy came shortly after. After resting a good bit we went to another area where we could swim. It was a good, fun time. I can't wait to go back!

Ephesians 3:16-19

2009-05-22T08:55:00.003-04:00

I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Be Free!

2009-05-21T23:43:00.005-04:00

Man oh man! I went to my mother-in-law's funeral today, and of course it was sad. I was debating on going, but since my father-in-law called me three times to let me know about all the arrangements I decided to go. My cousin and aunt came with me to support the family, since we are all close and still have a lot of contact with them, except ex-hubby. It was a difficult day for me to see him and his friend, but I made it through.

I didn't say anything at first, but at the end I gave him some pictures, which he received well. I tried to talk to him and tell him I was sorry about his mom and he listened for a minute, then turned his back. OK. I have to admit I was a little upset at first, but this was his mom's funeral, so I just left him alone and said goodbye.

I realized for the first time in two years that I have been holding onto guilt and shame. Why? I know my faults, but I have been making excuses for him and his behavior, as if it were all my fault. I was seeing a counselor before and after this all began and she told me to stop making excuses, see the light and to walk in freedom and truth. I thought, "I'm not making any excuses, and what is she talking about 'walk in freedom?'" I am walking in freedom. I know the scriptures! She didn't tell me to forgive because I am, oh so forgiving. Walk in freedom. Hmmm.

I think I get it now. Not just for me, but for him. I do, (scratch that) DID make excuses for his decisions and behavior. But now I think I'll take my counselor's advice and walk in freedom and truth. I do not accept guilt, shame, nor do I accept full responsibility. That is not mine to carry.

I also realized that he is still in bondage to me. He has so much anger and unforgiveness in his heart toward me that he is enslaved to that. It made me sad to see that because I want him to have a life filled with joy and freedom, but the only way he can have that is if he's right with the Lord. My constant prayer for him is that he will experience and encounter the love, joy and peace of the Lord.

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Rom. 5:1

After Midnight

2009-05-21T00:21:00.003-04:00

My work schedule is really throwing me off. I worked 3rd shift last night; now I am up while the whole world is sleeping and I want to bake cookies.

I watched a good movie tonight, "7 Pounds." I like unpredictable movies that leave you thinking about your life and the difference you make on others' lives.

Have a lot on my mind, including the recent death of my mother-in-law. A lot of things happening too fast to keep up with, but I'm still here...

Blessed

2008-12-16T21:30:00.003-05:00

Being sad about my NA class ending does not compare to my Biology. Tonight we had dinner at Lancaster's. Pretty good food, but awesome fellowship.

It's amazing that the majority of my class, including the instructor, are believers!

I had the opportunity to talk to my teacher's wife tonight. Such a lovely woman of God!

I am so blessed...and very sad. I cried as I left the restaurant. I am really going to miss everyone.

Of all my classes, this was by far the best. I felt like I learned a lot...and to top it off, it was fun.

My teacher made such an impact on my life. More than he'll ever know. At such a delicate time in my life he told me things that only could have come from the very heart of God. I know this because He has used several people to speak the same words of encouragement and LIFE into my being.

Same words, different seasons. Maybe it's time to listen...

Be Fruitful!

2008-12-10T11:22:00.009-05:00

Ok it's been way too long. I have been too busy for my own good. Much has been happening the past few months. Where do I begin.

I am finishing another lovely semester of school. I am being a little sarcastic, but in a way I am a little sad. I've really enjoyed some of these classes and one in particular. I never thought I'd be so interested in Biology, but my teacher rocks! He makes learning so much fun. He is actually on vacation right now, but he had an assignment for us last night. We came to class signed in and another teacher came in and told us to go home and look on his website for our assignment. Instead of going home me and a couple other ladies went to the computer lab to pull up our assignment. This is what is says, "Research, print out, and bring to the final a one-pager of your favorite Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)" When I first read that I thought OMG! "Favorite STD?" Ok...I can tell you my favorite flavor of ice cream, or my favorite season, or TV show, but I'm not quite sure I have a "favorite" STD! He is so crazy, LOL!

Last night after my very, short class I went to Renee's house and we worked on my biology project. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. We could do anything we discussed in class. I was initially going to make a model of embryonic cell division, but before arriving to Renee's house I decided to do one on fertilization.

This is what we came up with...

This lovely plate, looking thingy is the egg; notice the glitter, that's because we as women are jewels and should be treasured for all we have to go through...after all the fun of fertilization is over!

Here is the not-so-lovely sperm

Thanks Renee for assembling my sperm!

Last Class

2008-12-08T18:47:00.004-05:00

Although I'm happy to get another class out of the way, I am actually sad this one is over. It's funny how you form bonds with people in such a short time. Three months doesn't seem like much time to bond, but it is when you're learning how to care for each other, take blood pressures, tempuratures, bathe, etc. Well, we didn't bathe each other, we had to pretend on some. We went to clinicals together, scared, but did it and did it well. I'm going to miss my fellow Nursing Assistant's. I will see some of you in the next class!

2008-11-20T09:41:00.001-05:00

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13

From Him

2008-10-24T11:35:00.001-04:00

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:33-36

It's All About Me!

2008-08-31T20:35:00.004-04:00

Tagged!!

I've been tagged by my blogging buddy Edie from Rich Gifts

I’m supposed to share an Alphabet story, the A to Z 's of me...so...here goes but I'm not looking too exciting here.

Attached or Single? Attached, but it’s complicated!

Best Friend? Samara…YAY Samara YAY…HOLLER at your sister Girl! LOL

Cake or Pie? Pie

Day of Choice? They’re all the same at this point

Essential Item? My computer

Flavour of Ice cream? Vanilla Bean

Gummy Bears of Worms? Worms

Hometown? Hayward, CA…now in NC somewhere

Indulgences? Chocolate Truffles from Trader Joe's

January or July? January, I like cold weather

Kids? Cat

Last Movie I saw in a Theater? Mamma Mia…here I go again…my my..how could I resist you

Middle Name? Rose

Number of Siblings? 5

Oranges or Apples? Oranges

Phobia or Fear? Phobia...dirty hands

Quote? Can’t change the past, but you can certainly learn from it!

Reason to Smile? A new day!

Season? Fall…I love harvest

Tag five more: Got Health? Drink Offering Sweet Violets The "Devine" Life Zac Attack!

Unknown Fact About Me? I like cheese and celery sticks.

Vegeterian or Oppressor of Animals? God told us to eat meat, I'm obedient….this one is Edie’s and I’m sticking with it!

Worst Habit? Doing too many things at once.

Xrays or Ultrasounds? OH, it's so hard to pick the one I like best…

Your favourite Food? Meat and all sorts of fruits.

Zodiac? Libra

This Little Light of Mine

2008-08-29T09:52:00.009-04:00

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine,
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine,
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine,
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

I used to sing this song when I was young. It was cute, it was fun. It was only a song, right?

That's what you think when you don't have any clue who God is.

Well, I now have some understanding of who He is, which means I am responsible for allowing this little light of mine to shine.

Do I always allow it? Not really.

Do I desire to allow it? You betchya!

At times it's a little difficult...especially when I get angry. That doesn't happen too often, it takes a lot for me to get angry, but when I do watch out! I tend do blow out my candle at that point.

Not good. That is probably the best time to keep my light shining. It's not all about the good times. It's about the bad times, the times in between, the times of hurt, the times of shame, the painful times, and currently, the broke times!

What good am I if I am only letting my light shine in the good times? Not very useful for the kingdom, that for sure!

Lord Help me to shine Your light in all times and seasons of my life. Not for my benefit, but for the benefit of others. If I am supposed to be a representation of Your Son, there are things that definitely need to change. Search me and change me.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Matt. 5:14-16

UGHHH!

2008-08-27T17:15:00.003-04:00

OK...Not sure what I was thinking when I decided to take 6 classes, but I am drained! I am contemplating on dropping a few classes to get a job, rather than waiting until my semester is over. I had an interview today and it seems like a promising position, but I don't want to get off track and lose focus of my goal.

Cafe Chat

2008-08-09T20:14:00.004-04:00

What is one thing or cause that you are passionate about? (More specifically, something you feel that the Lord has burdened your heart with)?

At this time, my greatest passion is for my family. Not so much my siblings (they’ve always been my passion), but my parents. Five years ago, I could’ve cared less about them, but God has completely changed my heart toward them. While changing my heart and healing wounds, He was (is) also changing their lives.

I am amazed at all that He is doing. It’s funny that I say that. I don’t how I could spend all these years praying that God would deliver my parents from their addictions and abusiveness, and be amazed that He actually heard my cries. Like as if I am surprised that He answers prayers!

Now, I have great passion and compassion for those who have addictions, who are abused, abandoned, hurt, lost, poor and needy. Basically all boils down to PEOPLE; especially children. They are the ones who are completely helpless over their circumstances.

God has used the experiences I’ve gone through to reach out to others, and because of my past, I can relate to a variety of people and issues.

Last Day

2008-08-07T23:15:00.002-04:00

Today was the last day of my phlebotomy class. Basically all we did for the last class was receive our grades and went out for pizza (very few of us).

Monday I will begin my clinicals at CVMC. I'm looking forward to that, but why I picked 5:30AM-2:00PM for my hours, I don't know.

The following Monday I will start three more classes for the fall semester at MCC, and in September I will add another. I think I like to torture myself...what do you think???

Cafe Chat

2008-08-02T21:34:00.008-04:00

What is one thing that you absolutely love about friendships? Why? On the other side, what is one thing that you find absolutely difficult when it comes to friendships? Why?

One thing I appreciate about my friendships is that there is complete transparency. I appreciate that my friends are not all the same. I have deep friendships with a variety of people that are all over and personalities that others don't care for.

I love it that I can be 3,000 miles away from my closest friends, yet they don't seem so far because of the closeness we share. We talk on the phone, we write, sometimes we write each other while talking on the phone (pointless, I know). My best friend and I will stay on the phone while looking at the same things online and just read lame sayings to each other and crack jokes.

I love it that when I am truly in need of something my friends will rush over to help me in any way they can.

It's very easy for me to make friends, but on the flip side, I do have reservations. I need to know, somehow, that I can trust you. It isn't difficult for me to trust, but give me something to build on. I need to know you're interested in me in order to let the friendship grow. I don't mind acquaintances, but there's not much fun in that.

I like to be open, and I can't do that with superficial friends. I tend to get bored of them.

Hannah Welker

2008-08-01T23:54:00.013-04:00

Almost two weeks ago I talked about the disturbing phone call I received regarding my friend Heidi and the death of her daughter Hannah.

Thanks to all who have been praying!

Please continue to pray for comfort, and peace that only comes from God...the peace that passes all understanding.

I know Heidi and her family are grieving, BUT they are also rejoicing because they know where Hannah is.

I can only hope to have a portion of their kind of faith.

We love you Hannah and you will be terribly missed!

Hannah Welker Oct 12, 1995 - July 20, 2008

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." (John 14:1-3)

Hannah Glenn Welker, beautiful and wise beyond her 12 years, led her brief life by amazing and loving example. She was nurturing and had an incredible sense of peace and joy about her that left a lasting impression on every person she touched. Hannah was gifted to her parents Blaine and Heidi Welker of Fremont on October 12, 1995. She was the beloved "baby sister" to her three incredible siblings, Katy, Sarah and Kyle.

At a very young age, Hannah excitedly gave her heart and life to Jesus. At the tender age of 3, Hannah asked to be baptized. She found she enjoyed the proclamation of baptism so much that she would spontaneously request to be baptized on multiple occasions, saying "It makes me feel clean inside and close to Jesus!" Hannah took great joy in personally praying for the hurting and anyone needing a healing touch, and in bringing laughter by sharing her very unique brand of humor. Hannah enjoyed attending Lasting Heritage Academy Christian School, and would have entered the seventh grade in the fall. She joyfully attended Bridges Community Church in Fremont, and also very much loved her church family at Harvest House Church in Fremont.

Hannah was an avid soccer player and passionately loved playing with her North Valley San Jose Thunder Soccer team. Hannah gathered a multitude of friends both old and young over her 7 years of playing soccer all over Northern California. Hannah's life epitomized a daily walk with many loved ones and with God. On Sunday July 20th, Hannah went on her familiar daily walk with her Lord and continued walking onto the Streets of Gold in Heaven. Hannah had looked forward to donating her long beautiful hair to Locks of Love, and the family encourages all to donate to this worthwhile cause. Visit www.locksoflove.org for more information.

In addition to her parents and siblings, Hannah will live forever in the hearts of her grandparents Vic and Janet Welker, Karin Woll, and Ron and Pep Woll; great-grandmother Ella Linder; aunts and uncles Melinda Morgan, Brad and Tracy Welker, Wendy Espeleta, Kim Chairez, Kaarin and John Doyle, Erik and Beth Woll, Korisa Woll, Paul Chairez, Gerald Nelson, Shelly Fortier, Dave Morgan, and Patty Welker; cousins Malia, Paula, James, Tyler, Emily, Michael, Alex, Jeremy, Megan, Randy, Alisha, Tyler, Jessica, Jacob, Kate, Jay, Grace, and Adam; godparents Pete and Tanya Castro; many extended family members; her amazing North Valley San Jose Thunder family; and many beloved friends, young and old, whose lives she touched. She joins her uncles Bryan Welker and Halbert Espeleta, her aunt Rhonda Welker, and dear kindred spirit Jack Sabin, as well as other loving family members who went on to glory before her.

A service celebrating Hannah's brief and lovely time here on earth will be held Tuesday, August 5th, beginning at 3:47pm (47 was Hannah's favorite number), at Bridges Community Church, 505 Driscoll Road, Fremont. A memorial fund has been established. Gifts made out to the Hannah Glenn Welker Memorial Fund may be sent to Bridges Community Church, 505 Driscoll Road, Fremont CA 94538. Fremont Chapel of the Roses (510) 797-1900

Sophie's Day Out

2008-08-01T22:57:00.005-04:00

I wouldn't necessarily say it was a good day for either of us. As I had stated in an earlier post, Sophie has flees. I tried to get rid of them last week by bathing her and giving her a pill. That didn't quite cut it.

I took her to the vet this morning to get dipped. She was fighting so hard not to go inside the kennel. I had planned the day around her trip to the vet. As I was leaving, I set off two foggers to bomb the apt.

After four hours, I returned home to air everything out. I took all my dishes and silverware out of the cupboards and drawers and washed them. I have to say, that although it is just me, I have a ton of stuff. I think it's time to get rid of more things!

So anyway, I cleaned up, put fresh sheets on my bed and headed out the door to pick up the princess.

She was so happy to see me...of course. She was giving me that sad meow all the way home. I'm telling you, this stuff would've annoyed me a year ago...I don't like cats! BUT she is so precious; how could I not love her? Instead of annoying me, it broke my heart.

At least she's flee free! And also exhausted from her long, tough day...

Don't You Know?

2008-07-31T11:41:00.002-04:00

Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2008-07-28T13:28:00.015-04:00

My brother, Joseph, is leaving tomorrow for China. He is part of one of the best Marching Bands in America. His high school, along with only 2 other high schools will be performing in the China Olympics. There are a total of 800 Americans performing.

Although the Olympics will not begin until August 8th, he and the rest of the students from across the world will spend their time practicing and performing in different locations, such as, Beijing, Tianjing, Shang Hai, The Great Wall, and the Tiananmen Square "Forbidden City, (which will be a historic event).

There are a total of 2008 students participating in this event, and all represent different colors of the rings (Olympic symbol), known as hubs…i.e. Red Hub = Americans, Gold Hub = China.

Joseph and his team have been practicing profusely for over a year, including vacations. His summer vacation, so far, has been dedicated for this occasion, while putting in about 20 hours a week.

It’s amazing how hard they work, and make it look like so much fun. I can’t begin to imagine how in the world one can dance while playing an instrument. There are so many dynamics involved in the process.

You basically have to memorize your music (not too hard), dance, count, and make sure you don’t get in anyone’s way while you’re doing all that (that’s a little too much for my taste).

I am so proud of you Joseph. I pray for the hand of God to cover you and keep you safe and in good health…and have lots of fun. I love you!

Here is an article written 3 days ago about Joseph's High School:

Bay Area Band Heading To China For Historic Concert
POSTED: 10:26 pm PDT July 25, 2008

UNION CITY -- A group of Bay Area high school students is preparing to make history next month, when they will perform as part of the Olympic Orchestra in Beijing.

Band and color guard members of Union City's James Logan High School have been invited to perform in Tiananmen Square. The invitation is historic because it's the first time a foreign group has performed in the square.

The students are taking part in festivities leading up to the summer games.

Organizers say the band was picked for the ground-breaking concert based on their reputation. They will be joined by two other bands from the United States including a high school band from Modesto.

Students from Australia and China also are taking part in the concert.

The almost 200 students leave for China on Monday and Tuesday, taking five separate flights to get there. They will perform on August 3, but will spend two weeks touring China.

Organizers say this is not the first time the group has traveled to perform at an impressive venue. They performed at Carnegie Hall three years ago and at Disney Hall last year.

Before they take off, the band is hosting a free bon voyage concert at 7 p.m. Saturday at James Logan High School Pavilion.

Copyright 2008 by KTVU.com.

Tag You're It!

2008-07-28T10:54:00.004-04:00

I was tagged from Journey through Faith. Here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Write 6 random things about yourself.
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I love ladybugs! I have two ladybug pillows, a pin to wear on my blazer, magnets, jewelry, and countless socks. In fact, it’s almost a rule that whenever I spot a pair of ladybug socks I buy it!

I never had tea parties as a little girl, but enjoy them as an adult. Usually when I babysit, I will bust out the teapots and cups and make scones.

I am definitely OCD when it comes to washing my hands. Sometimes my hands get so dried out and cracked because I wash them too much.

I have wondered in the past, but now for sure believe I am ADD. It is very difficult for me to stay focused on one thing at a time. Sometimes I will be talking to someone and just walk away in the middle of the conversation…I know…rude. I hate that about me. I never clean one thing at a time; I notice something else and start cleaning it, without finishing what I was previously cleaning. I don’t even eat one thing at a time either. Sometimes I mix my food up.

Since I’m on the subject of food, I am embarrassed to say that when I am really enjoying my meal, I kiss it and tell it “I love you.” I know I’m weird.

I have a tendency to go shopping in my pajamas. Not just plain looking ones that look like regular attire, it’s usually penguins or snowflakes.

OK...so here's who's next:

Got Health?

Notes of Sister Precious

reservoir

The Davidson Mission

Mozaic Journey

Sweet Violets

Tag You're It!

Cafe Chat

2008-07-26T21:44:00.003-04:00

What would be the title of a book about your life?

Triumph Over Heartache

A friend of mine suggested this title for me and I would have to agree. But I came up with a few myself:

Get Over It!

I know what you’re thinking; it seems a little insensitive, but it’s not what it sounds like. There are going to be trials and tests in life, and sometimes big mountains. I am like anyone else when I am faced with hardships; I get scared, but instead of just standing still and looking at how big that mountain is, why not just get over it? You never know what's waiting for you on the other side.

Go on with Your Bad self

Live life to the fullest; don’t just “hang in there,” thrive! There is always going to be someone who does things better than you, but why let that stop you from using your gifts and talents? Be who God created you to be; someone great.

Keep On Keeping On

Never stop growing. No matter how bad your childhood was, no matter how messed up your current situation, we as believers have been given great tools to make life count. We have a great Teacher, and a great God.

Escape Artist

2008-07-23T22:39:00.012-04:00

Ok so my cat has flees! Gross, I know. I gave her a bath last night, which she thoroughly enjoyed...not really. Anyway, I decided to give her a pill that instantly kills flees for up to 6 hours. I figured as long as she stays inside she'll be fine and I wouldn't worry about the medication not working.

I went to a friends house this evening and left Sophia inside. Usually when I come home she is sitting on the window seal waiting for me. As soon as I open the door, she makes a run for it.

I was thinking of all sorts of ways I could prevent her from dashing out the door, when finally I arrive home and see her waiting for me OUTSIDE! How she got out I had no idea.

Well...I kept the windows slightly open to let the air cool down my apt. and soon realized she popped the screen off the window and jumped out!

Crazy cat!

Friends "Stick" Together!

2008-07-22T23:32:00.007-04:00

Tonight was Family and Friend night at school. We have been practicing drawing blood from each other, but tonight we were able to torture our family and friends. We all had such a great time talking, eating and sticking. I was very nervous at first, but have gained more confidence tonight than I've had since we started.

My aunt (70 + years old), cousin Linda, and friend Pat came with me to help me get all my sticks. I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed that my great-aunt came in a motorized vehicle and with an oxygen tank, ready and willing for me to stick a needle in her skin. I wasn't embarrassed of her. I was afraid that people would think it as elderly abuse. But hey...she was a willing vessel...literally :)

She was so excited to be there for me, and I was happy to have her as well. I'm telling you, she was quite the trooper, letting several students stick her. It was definitely an evening to remember!

Distraught

2008-07-22T01:43:00.003-04:00

Tonight I received a very disturbing phone call from a close friend. I knew there was something not right because she called me at almost 1:00 AM. The sound of her voice worried me. She informed me that a dear friend of ours (Heidi) was in a car accident.

She was driving home from a soccer tournament with two of her daughters. The tire of her minivan blew out on the interstate, causing the car to hit the median, which then caused the car to flip several times. She has a collapsed lung and is in intensive care. One daughter has some injuries; however, the youngest didn’t survive.

I am really struggling with this whole messed up situation. I couldn’t go to sleep after I heard the news; I cried so hard it made me sick to my stomach.

Heidi is being heavily sedated because of the pain, but I know the pain of knowing her daughter didn’t survive outweighs the physical pain she is feeling. I can’t believe this happened.

Please keep the Welker family in your prayers, as they are facing a very difficult and painful time.

Cafe Chat

2008-07-19T11:30:00.005-04:00

Name what you think should be your first 5 priorities in life? Then order those priorities the way they actually are at present in your own life. Do they match up? Why or why not?

1. God

2. Family

3. Friends

4. Work, school

5. Muah :)

This is how I think it should be, although I tend to mix it up a little. Lately I've been a little selfish and have made it all about #5. I have to admit that it feels pretty darn good at times.

My priorities don't always match up, but one thing's for sure; when God is first, everything else in my life lines up.

Cafe Chat

2008-07-12T12:41:00.006-04:00

What is one woman from the Bible that you can relate to, and explain why you relate to her?

There are too many women in the bible I relate too to pick just one. I can be like Sarah who laughs at the idea of God performing a miracle in her life. I can be like Miriam who praises God with singing and dancing, even in the midst of pain and sorrow. I can be like Rahab, a person who is shamed because of her's and others choices. I can be like Deborah, a great leader and prayer warrior. I can be like Delilah, having a lack of devotion to anything, even God. I have been like Ruth, leaving my life on the back burner in order to take care of someone who really needs me. Oh how I would love to say I'm just like Mary; basking in the presence of Jesus, but that doesn't always happen.

I can relate to these women, and more, on so many levels, however, the characteristic I own that I don't like is that of Martha...the worry wart. Don't get me wrong, she is a woman of great faith and I admire the close relationship she had with Christ and her family, but I have a difficult time being so pre-occupied at times that I don't relax and enjoy life. I enjoy entertaining people, having them over for a meal, playing games and watching a movie. My problem is I have a hard time sitting down and eating my meal with guests because while I eat I'm already cleaning up. I am getting better. This was a real issue for me and even affected my marriage in some ways. I think I get this "quality" from my father. He has always been such a hard worker and that has stuck with me. I am constantly doing something, whether it be working, cleaning, homework, talking on the phone, or e-mailing. Even when I'm not doing something I think of all the things I have to do, which wears me out!

You gotta love me, I guess.

Random

2008-07-08T23:38:00.004-04:00

I can't sleep tonight; my mind is too cluttered. My little sister has been staying with me since the end of February and tomorrow morning she's going back to CA. Although I am looking forward to being by myself again, I am a little sad. I did enjoy her company. At least I won't be completely alone here with Sophia and Smokey. Sophia is so funny. She has to follow me everywhere I go. I got out of bed to feed the fish and she got up with me. There were no lights on, but I could see her in the kitchen waiting for me to come back to bed. She followed me back in the room, but instead of going back to bed, I decided to take my computer to the living room, so she is here with me now. She's laying on top of the sofa with her arm stretched out with her paw touching me. God is so funny like that. We all need some kind of touch; when it's not human touch, He uses animals. I didn't even like cats, but I don't know what I'd do without her.

OK...I guess I'm finally getting tired now.

Cafe Chat

2008-07-06T20:36:00.010-04:00

Do you have a godly (woman) mentor in your life? If so, describe your relationship with her… If you don’t have a mentor, would you like one and what would you hope to gain from the relationship?

The most influential mentor I have is Lori Soto. Her and her husband were the youth pastors at my old church in CA. She is only 7 years older, so she is like the older sister I never had, however at times she acted as if she was my mother. I pretended to get annoyed at times, but deep down I really liked it. I needed it. I needed someone who cared. She is a person who taught me the importance of being a godly woman, wife, mother, and friend. At one point, Lori and Chris opened their home to me, and years later, my sister. I am their son Christian's god-mother. We are 3,000 miles away, but I never get tired of talking to her and receiving wise counsel from her. I cherish her wisdom, guidance, prayers, and friendship.

I have had several mentors/friends throughout my life. I have wonderful friends who are uplifting and encouraging, and even when I don't like it, will correct me when I'm wrong. I have a best friend Samara, whom I have looked up to since elementary school. Her life, not words, is what encouraged me to want a relationship with the Lord. My cousin Kara, my aunt Shirley, my grandmother, older cousins (Linda and Patty), aunt Bobbie, and countless friends I have made in NC, have all played such a huge part in my life.

My hopes are to bless others the way these ladies blessed me! My life is full and rich because of them!

4th of July

2008-07-04T23:01:00.003-04:00

Happy 4th of July, and Happy Birthday to my nephew Isaac! He was born two years ago today. He is so sweet and such a blessing.

You can read a bit about how God used him here Freedom Child

Treats and Games

2008-07-03T22:32:00.005-04:00

The Lewis girls spent two days with us and we had so much fun. We made rice crispy treats and played games. Sarah was trying to convince me she was the champion of UNO. I won the first game and thought who's the champion now? After my one game of glory Sarah proved that she is the champion.

Dog Show

2008-07-03T22:31:00.005-04:00

Wednesday we went to the park for a picnic and a dog show. My sister and I were the judges and judged the dogs on their moves, looks, and obedience. It was hilarious!

Happy Birthday Joseph!

2008-07-01T13:21:00.003-04:00

Today is my baby bro's 17th birthday. I can't believe how old he is! I guess that means I'm getting old too. He was born when I was 13, so we pretty much have a tight bond. This month he is going to China with his marching band to perform. Not too many kids his age get to spend their birthday month in another country.

I love you and hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Cafe Chat

2008-06-29T23:16:00.006-04:00

Today we are talking about LIES. Most of us are or have been plagued by lies, some from just being a woman. Lies are destructive and defeating. Lies about priorities, marriage, family, emotions or sin invade our spirits if we let them.

What is a lie that you have believed in the past (or even currently), and why do you think you believed that lie? Find a verse in God’s Word to combat the lie.

One lie I always believed about myself was that I was stupid. When I didn't understand something my dad would call me stupid, amongst other things. With my family background (drugs and abuse), I thought I couldn't be any different. After all, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, right? These lies have crippled me for many years, to the point that I did not want to continue my education. I figured as long as I was the only one who graduated high school in my family, I was off to a way better start. It wasn't until last year that I faced my fear and went back to school. I am so thankful I did. It has taught me so much about myself. My pastor, Keith, used to say "You'll do what's important to you." Regardless of how true that statement is, it used to irritate me because I always focused on the things holding me back. Of course I want to do what's important to me...I could if I had the money or the time. Well guess what? I don't have the money, but that's how awesome God is. He has completely provided for me. As far as the time...it worked out.

When it comes to school, I was never a good student, but I make every effort to do well in my classes because I don't want to take for granted what God has given me. Being in school has made me realize that I am not stupid. I am pretty darn smart!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Psalm 139:14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.

Animal Planet

2008-06-29T14:40:00.005-04:00

The next two weeks are being spent pet-sitting. I already have a cat (Sophia) and a rabbit (Smokey), so along with them, I now have two dogs (Cocoa and Slang) and a fish (Cleo). It's been interesting so far. Sophia has given up her reign here and let the dogs fight for their attention/position. After all, she knows who the real "queen" of the house is.

My lilies

2008-06-24T01:14:00.002-04:00

Lazy Cat

2008-06-22T01:13:00.012-04:00

First I would like to say that I do not particularly like cats, but a friend of mine decided I needed one last year, and brought Sophia home to me the week of my birthday. I am so glad! She is such a joy to have around. I just have to share a picture of her and her little friend.

Not a very good pic because it was at night, but she was trying to convince him to come inside "her house." She'll sit in the window, and once she sees him she cries to go outside. It's so cute. Sometimes they'll just lay in the middle of the parking lot.

This is her, doing what she does best!

Cafe Chat

2008-06-18T01:01:00.008-04:00

What is one of your favorite attributes of God, and why?

It’s hard to choose one favorite attribute because different attributes apply in different seasons of my life. In this particular season, I would have to go with faithfulness. People will disappoint me, and I them, but I have seen time and again that He is faithful (…the Lord your God, He is the faithful God… Deuteronomy 7:9). He is not a man that He should lie…Titus 1:2; He never goes back on His word (…for He who promised is faithful… Hebrews 10:23). I am secure in knowing that no matter how many times I mess up, He still loves me and accepts me (…He is faithful and just to forgive our sins…1 John 1:9).

Cafe Chat

2008-06-09T22:40:00.004-04:00

If you could go back in time to a pivotal point in your young life and give yourself one word/sentence of advice, and know that you would accept the advice, what would it be?

I would think I was absolutely nuts to tell myself this, but it would be to honor my parents. No matter how wrong they were with the way they treated us, it’s still a commandment. I am the oldest, so I feel responsible in that I paved the way in how my siblings treated my mom. Not sure I would have listened to myself, but looking back I see how it affected the dynamics of our ever-so chaotic household.

Layers

2008-06-09T11:38:00.006-04:00

I guess it’s time for my 2nd dose of reality. Today I decided to get rid of some things in my apt. I have so many things from work and there’s really no place for it here, so I decided to divide them up with a few people who can use the products. I ended with my closet and basically just rearranged “junk.” My eyes were glued to my old photo album. I took it off the shelf and opened it. Looking at all the old pictures brought back so many good memories. The first picture of the album was taken when I had arrived to NC. From then on were photos of family and friends…and Charles. Not much thought went into the first couple photos, but suddenly I felt a huge sting in my heart. It’s been well over 1 ½ years and I have to say I have been pretty numb to this whole separation thing. Work and school have kept me occupied for quite some time. But now all these questions come to mind with no answer.

I realize that eventually the pain will go away, but I also accept that the scars will remain. I guess scars aren’t so bad, if you think about it. They tell cool stories of your war wounds; like the times you were younger, when you fell out of a tree, or when you were riding your bike and scraped your knees. I received a permanent scar on my leg from a Harley Davidson when I was five years old. My dad was warming up his bike so he could take us for a ride. He kept telling me to stay back, and I did. I just didn’t realize “how back” I needed to stay. Eventually I got so close that the steam from the exhaust pipe made a burn on my leg the size of egg. Walking into the house, my mom noticed the look on my face and it frightened her. “What happened?” she exclaimed. “Nothing,” I said. I didn’t want to get into trouble, nor did I want to disappoint my dad. Finally she realized I was burnt pretty bad and called my dad in the house.

To this day, I remember the empathy on my dad’s face as he looked at my leg and saw the silent tears streaming down my face. I was hurt, but all I could say was “I’m sorry.” Why was I sorry that I was hurt?

Last night I realized something that I had never known; I guess you can call it my blind self. I was conversing with one of my pastors and she said something to me that really sunk in. It was so simple, yet so profound. Onions have layers.

Ok…so I know onions have layers… I’ve seen the movie Shrek. I know that when you cut an onion, you can cut for a while until you start to cry. Cutting the first few layers is a cinch, but as soon as the knife touches something delicate, something fragile, it brings tears to your eyes. I know that we all have layers as well. Good and bad happen to us all. And through that, we all form layers…this isn’t new stuff.

The profoundness didn’t come from that simple statement about onions; it correlated with something else that had been on my mind. The past several weeks had been a little challenging, and finally, on Friday, I realized I actually miss my husband. Have I been pretending all this time? Have I been a fake? Or was I “sorry” because I was hurting? I realized that the latter question was right on. I am used to being the strong one; the one in control, and every now and then I let my guard down and allow God to do more work in me. I don’t just want to cry when He gets to the sensitive areas of my life; this time I want it all. I don’t want to be hard, or tough, or in control…I never was anyway. I just want to be me. I’m not quite sure what that looks like, but I know that God intended it to be beautiful; even with all the brokenness...and the layers.

Cafe Chat

2008-06-02T00:05:00.005-04:00

What are some lies out in the world (secular views) today about women that contradict what God says in His word about how women should be/act? Diving a little deeper…What are some lies that are still out there in our Christian circles about women? (Feel free to talk from a single woman’s point of view or a married woman’s point of view)

We’re constantly comparing ourselves to models and movie stars. Why? Because the world tells us if we don’t look like Jessica Alba, or have the body of Angelina Jolie, we don’t “measure up.” One thing that really makes me angry is when they show certain stars in bathing suits and label the do’s and don’ts, and what, and what not to wear, and who’s the top 10 beautiful people of America, and who’s the least attractive. What does this tell us as women? What does it tell the younger generation? No wonder we are so insecure with ourselves. There are all these commercials, ads, papers, and pictures telling us how we should look. Who are we to call what God says is “good,” ugly? We are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is a huge difference between someone discovering you because you are pretty, and God creating you in His image. He knew us before the foundations of the world. He formed us in our mothers’ womb and He called us by name. I don’t know about you, but I would rather care about what my God thinks of me instead of what man thinks. Of course I wouldn’t mind improving certain things, such as weight, or health. He wants us to take care of ourselves; our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.

I find that women (in the Christian world) compare themselves as well. There seems to be a lot of jealousy when it comes to spiritual gifts. God made us who we are. He created us and said “it is good.” He has a plan and purpose for us all.

Light

2008-05-27T13:09:00.014-04:00

Have you ever thought that light is aggressive? It is. When you open a curtain in a lighted room to the outside darkness, the light spills out ~ darkness does not spill in.

LIGHT PUSHES BACK THE DARKNESS
...Landrum P Leavell

Let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven...Matt 5:14

Internet Cafe Meme

2008-05-25T01:22:00.008-04:00

What is a positive tradition or godly character trait that you learned from your extended family that you hope to pass down to your own family?

Although my father wasn't a believer, I learned something from him that to this day is engraved to the core. We had an extremely dysfunctional family; an environment full of chaos, abuse, and drugs. One thing my dad always told me was "hang in there, things are gonna get better." Through that simple phrase I learned how to persevere through some very difficult times...even now as I am separated from my husband and most likely divorcing. In and through unfortunate circumstances that occur, I always remember to hang in there...it's gonna get better!

Sunday

2008-05-18T21:57:00.002-04:00

What a lovely day! It started off with a refreshing worship service; probably the best service I’ve been to in a long time. I miss being in CA at my old church, but GCC is pretty close. The message was great. I love how the pastor touches on issues that most pastors won’t. He does it in such a loving, non-judgmental way that you don’t feel condemned; convicted, maybe, but not condemned.

After the service, my sister, my neighbor, his girls, and I, saw Prince Caspian. WOW! It was so powerful that I had to keep myself from sobbing through the whole movie. It’s amazing how there are so many biblical principles to the Chronicles of Narnia stories. Definitely something I will see again and again.

After the movie we went to my aunt’s house for dinner. My friends joined me, and we all had such a great time. There’s nothing like family getting together for a good time of talks, laughs…and of course, food!

Now it’s time to wind down and watch a movie…

Refreshing

2008-04-25T06:15:00.020-04:00

So I woke up at 3 AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I felt completely rested, which is abnormal. I prayed for those on my heart and also felt this huge desire to go for a walk (extremely abnormal). I wore camouflage pj's to bed, so I decided to wear a white t-shirt (to prevent myself from being killed by cars that cannot see me), put on some shoes and threw my hair up in a clip.

I walked outside, enjoying the nice, cool temperature, while listening to the birds chirping. It was as if they were inviting me to come outside and join their world. So lovely. I love nature. There is nothing more awe inspiring to me than mere nature. Creation is how I connect with my Creator. The stars, moon, sun, water…even dirt have their place in this world. That is amazing; that is worship. Being exactly who and where God created you to be, and serving that purpose. All I can say is “You are awesome!” I’m completely lost for words. There aren’t enough, or any to describe how great, powerful, magnificent, or loving my God is.

Following the crisp, cool air, along with the sounds of singing birds, I begin my journey with happy feet and a joyful heart. Nothing is going to get in the way of me and my new found passion...exercise. I walk pass the apartments, and notice my light is the only one on at this hour. No one else is awake. That's OK...I've made up my mind, and there's no stopping me. I am on a roll. I know this is going to be a great day because I am starting it right. I am encouraged with each and every step I take. I pass the cars...I will not look back. I come to the end of the parking lot, full of energy and purpose. I am contemplating which way I should begin my excursion to a new and healthy lifestyle, when my exuberant and determined spirit failed to notice one thing...it is completely dark outside!

The decision is made. I continue my steps. My arms are swinging and my heart is pumping. My feet are in sync with the earth. The birds are cheering me on as I thrust past them. There is a faint, but visible light ahead. I make my way past the trees and parked cars. With one foot in front of the other, the light becomes more discernible. My eyes are centered on this one and only light. I continue on my journey, passing more cars. I come to a white chair, plants and a welcome mat, and with great perseverance, I open the door and walk into my apartment.

What a refreshing walk!

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love...Psalm 90:14

After God's Heart

2008-04-17T13:02:00.004-04:00

Lord, give me a fresh start

I come to you with a shattered heart

I repent, I come back, Lord please make me new

This world is unsatisfying, I only want You

In Your presence, I long to stay

From that which is not of You, I will turn away

I want to sit at Your feet and bask in Your glory

Beneath the shadow of Your wings, as You cover me

Let Your Spirit shine through the depths of my soul

Give me a pure heart like Yours,

Lord please make me whole.

Random Thoughts

2008-04-16T00:15:00.000-04:00

Wow It's been a while. So many things happening. My sister moved in with me about a month and a half ago, I'm getting laid off of work, and I finally got into a program I've waited a year for! All is well. I'm excited about this coming semester. I have decided to focus on a certain degree and I'm sticking with it...until I change my mind again. Life's been good. I'm enjoying the company of my little sister, and all the movies she brings home from work. She just brought home "Why did I get married?"...how appropriate for me.

Been cooking a lot, which is good. Although I enjoy going out to eat, there's nothing like a home cooked meal. Been thinking about "Spring Cleaning"...just thinking at this point. It will happen eventually. My brother called me today to tell me he got the birthday card I sent him...in July. My sister Ana and her son Isaac moved into their own little place. My cat Sophia will not stay off my kitchen counter, no matter how many times I spray her with a water bottle. My neighbor just came over to bring me a case of water...isn't that nice.

I'm tired now...

Celle Belle

2008-03-13T22:32:00.001-04:00

Today is my niece's 8th birthday.

I can't believe how time flies. I'll never forget the day she was born, nor will I forget the way I felt about her. I was so in love with this beautiful, tiny human. I still am.

Happy Birthday Arcelia!!!

All Ears

2008-02-26T08:43:00.000-05:00

I woke up rather early this morning. Not that five days/nights in bed weren't enough sleep. I had been more sick than I care to remember and am still trying to shake it. Yesterday I started feeling better around 4:30 and decided it was an OK day to actually communicate with people. I thought of my cousin, who I usually talk to on a daily basis, and decided I was going to call her. She beat me to it. She called and we had our normal conversations about her son, his growth, things about me, and as usual, we shared our odd sense of humor.

Some thing's have been bothering her, which is now bothering me. I grew up with her and looked up to her, even though we are the same age. I used to wish I would've been born into her family. Her mother and mine are sisters, and her mother is my favorite aunt...shhh! All her life she had grown up in church and had been involved in anything and everything the church had to offer. Sometimes it was because her mother wanted her to go, but mostly it was her desire.

Even after being on her own, with her own family, it is still her desire. She still attends regularly, but not as often as she'd like. She and her husband had been going to a great church since they had moved to their home three years ago. Although they love the church and try to get involved, it's just not happening. She just feels left out. This is hard for her because she always had friends surrounding her, but times are different.

She made a comment last night that broke my heart. She expressed how she felt so far from God that if He were to come today, she doesn't think she'd make it to heaven. After asking why she felt that way, she proceeded to say that she doesn't feel as close to Him as she used to.

My thoughts on this matter are; what do our feeling have to do with anything?...especially concerning, the Almighty, All Powerful, All Knowing, never changing God? Nothing we do or say will make Him love us any more or any less.

I realize when we aren't doing what we think, or know we should be doing, we tend to get a little down on ourselves. Maybe it's because we know we are made for so much more. We know we have a responsibility to our calling. I can relate to my cousin on so many levels. Even in the recent days, but God used this opportunity to show me that it's OK to be unhappy with your situation...it means you're on the right track! If she, or I were content with this mundane walk, there is something very wrong in our spiritual lives. It may be OK to be here, but it's not OK to stay. When you realize you're not in a good place, get out.

I tried to encourage her on all this last night, but sometimes the best thing you can do when someone is sharing their feelings, hurt, and heart is to listen and pray.

Nothing!

2008-01-20T12:00:00.002-05:00

If God didn't hesitate to put anything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing Himself to the worst by sending His own Son, is there anything else He wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us - who was raised to life for us - is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in scripture...I'm absolutely convinced that nothing - nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable - absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Romans 8:31-39 MSG

Time Bandit

2008-01-03T20:39:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up at 4 am and couldn't' go back to sleep. At 5:00, I decided to get out of bed. I have a busy day ahead anyway, so an early start will help. Today is late registration at MCC. I already have my classes, but I need to drop two and add one or two. I hope I can get the classes I want and that will work with my schedule.

After registering for classes I have get my books and then off to work. When I'm finished at work, I will meet with my friend and her family for dinner. It will be nice to see her. I don't get to see her as much as I used to since we don't attend the same church anymore. We still talk a few times a week and try to meet with each other at least once every couple of weeks.

Starting next week, I will have a full work schedule. That will be good for my fiances, but bad for time. Finding balance with my time is still going to be a challenge, but I am cutting out things that are/can be a hindrance with my time, as well as my social and spiritual life. I know it's possible to find balance, but it sure is hard for me. It's not school, or work, it's me; I don't like discipline. I'm sure it gets easier with time and practice. Although I am not a good steward of my time, I am actually proud of myself. Being out of school for over 11 years, working full-time, and going to school full-time, I managed to make four A's and a B. This is exciting or me because my grades were never above average until my senior year in high school.

All this rambling on, probably not making any sense, just to say, I hope I get all the classes I want.

Good Times

2007-12-24T12:04:00.002-05:00

This past week has been great! Every day I have been to see my grandpa (mom’s step dad) in the Convalescent home. I was glad that he remembered me. I know his health hasn’t been good at all, but to see the excitement in his face because I was there was priceless. Saturday my family and I went to my grandparent’s house (dad’s side) and we all sat around and talked, ate, and drank while listening to my brothers, dad, and grandpa play the congas/bongos. I love music, but I have to say that there is nothing like the sounds of the congas. It’s a Latin thing…it’s in my blood.

I am here with my best friend, Samara! We are at her parent’s house and I am having a great time. I wish I wasn’t leaving today, but it’s Christmas Eve and I need to be with my family.

Yesterday Samara conducted a choral piece from Handel’s Messiah, and my brother and I were able to sing in it. It was so much fun, other than the fact that my brother and I learned the song the day before. It was a great turnout and everyone was pleased. It was also good to be in church again because these past several weeks have been so crazy that I felt as if I had lost myself. I guess school and work can do that to you. I am going to be more mindful of my time this next semester.

Until next time…

Bitter - Sweet

2007-12-18T11:36:00.001-05:00

I’m in the air as I write. Feelings of anxiousness and excitement stir in me as I await my destination. “Home for the Holidays;” sounds so sweet. Little does everyone know, there’s a bitter side to the story. Truth is I’m not “feeling” so sweet right now. Around this time, last year, my heart was broken. Something was done that cannot be taken back. Repaired? Yes. But not irreversible. The damage has been done. Lives have been broken and dreams have been shattered. Families, torn apart. The only thing that is sweet about this Christmas is I get to spend it at home, with my family. I miss them. I never thought I would want to see them. After all, I moved to NC so that I could be away from them.
Things change and so do people as we get older and mature.

It will be good t be around friends and family who love, support, and pray for me. My holiday may be a little “sweeter” than I think.

Family, Friends and Food

2007-11-20T12:33:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've even thought about writing. Thanksgiving is coming up and there are so many things that roll through my mind as I ponder on what I am thankful for. This is my favorite time of the year. Mainly because I love the beautiful colors of Fall. Another thing I really enjoy about Thanksgiving is all the food! I guess I could have been a little more spiritual, but it's the truth. There's nothing like being around family and friends, while enjoying sweet potato casserole and all the other delightful dishes you only get once or twice a year.

I must say that even though I have found a home here in NC, which I love, I do miss being with my parents and siblings. I would have liked to be with them this holiday, but because of school, I am planning to go home for Christmas instead. This will be the first time in five years that I get to spend any holiday with them. It will also be easier since I don't have to rush home to make it to my next class. I am looking forward to seeing my niece and nephew. I know they are getting huge. Isaac has been walking and Arcelia will be 8 in March. I can't believe how quickly time goes by!

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

2007-10-30T11:58:00.001-04:00

At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Msg.

Family

2007-10-07T22:08:00.001-04:00

What an emotional week it has been, not just for myself, but others that are in my circle of influence. Today was the last day "my family" will be meeting as a small community at Race City Church. Starting next week we will be part of a church called Mosaic. It's a very exciting, but emotional transition for many. We are such a close group of people. I've always heard it said that church is supposed to be your family. I've been to excellent churches, but never felt the connection I felt at RCC. Family. Home. Comfort. Connection.

I know this is a wonderful opportunity for growth and maturity for many, including myself. I gave my heart to the Lord when I was young, but didn't commit until I was 15. Since then God has been doing a lot in my life...including painful surgeries. He has been growing me and molding me into the person I was intended to be. It's a very long process, but each day I get a little closer. I am very thankful to have played a small part at RCC. Being there has taught me to get out of my comfort zone. I have done things in this church that I normally would have never done, whether it be leading or participating. I was always too shy or anti-social or had a major lack of confidence, which by the way, I am still learning that my confidence is in Christ...or at least it should be.

Although we are merging into Mosaic with a small number of people, we possess many qualities as a whole that I believe will make a huge impact, not only there, but in furthering the kingdom!

2007-10-01T11:55:00.001-04:00

"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave—what can you know?"

Job 11:7-8

Remain in Me

2007-09-27T12:20:00.000-04:00

I’ve heard it said, Your Word is powerful and pierces like a knife
You came to set the captives free and give us eternal life.

And You also said that to live is Christ, and to die is to gain
Then why is it we go through life in darkness and in pain?

I try and try to please You Lord, What am I doing wrong
I read Your Word and pray to You and praise you with a song.

I need Your help to get me through this dark and lonely mess
Your Word says if I give You my heart, You will do the rest.

What is it then, I need to do, how will I understand?
That all these things I’m going through, are part of Your great plan.

It’s hard to see the future; it seems hopeless and so bleak
But I know Your strength’s made perfect, when I give You what is weak.

You say “be anxious for nothing” and to You “cast all our cares”
It’s difficult not to worry, when life seems so unfair.

The enemy is in my mind’s eye, I don’t want to let him in
But You are at my heart’s door, helping me not to stumble or sin.

How do I resist, why won’t he just go away?
Have I not let You in completely, if so, please come and stay.

Lord come and remain in me, it’s You I choose this day
I know with Your unfailing love, that I will be Okay.

You’ve transformed my thoughts and given me a new heart, what more is there to do?
What’s that? I need to go into all the world and share it with others too.

Forgive me, Lord, but You’ve got it all wrong, I can’t possibly go
I bet if You send that person over there, Your love then they’ll know.

If I don’t go the rocks will cry out and claim Your saving grace?
It all seems so silly; I wouldn’t want them to take my place.

Please help me with my hope and trust, Lord help me to believe
It’s but a simple act of faith to accept You and receive.

Lord, I want this Truth, I want this Life, I want to do Your will
I want to do what’s right in Your eyes, not what I want or feel.

Until the day You call me home, it’s for You I want to live
I want to walk in Your Spirit and Truth, and to give all I can give.

© Andrea R Briner

2007-09-24T09:39:00.001-04:00

One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

Psalm 24:7

2007-09-20T03:59:00.001-04:00

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength"

Philippians 4:11-13

Happy Birthday Ben!

2007-09-17T17:47:00.002-04:00

Benny it's your birthday, happy birthday Benny...

Today is my baby brother's 15th birthday. I cannot believe how fast time flies! I remember the day he was born. I remember changing his diapers and feeding him. I remember I was the only one who was able to put him to sleep. He was fussy when anyone else would try to rock him, except for me. I remember when he was tired and would want a bottle, he would say to me, "I want my babba, mommy." He was such a joy and still is. Both my boys are. I am so proud of Ben and the things he has endured and accomplished in his young life. This year he is in the jazz band at school. He loves his bass guitar and he ROCKS!

He was just starting kindergarten when I graduated high school. Now he's a sophomore. It makes me sad to know how much things change and how little time we have to cherish the precious moments of childhood. Just looking at "my boys," you would never know how painful, unstable and despairing their lives had been. They have been through more than many people can even imagine, from being abused, to abandoned, to homeless. However, through all of that, they have chosen to walk on a steady path and on solid ground and because of that I am filled with joy. My life is forever changed because of my little brothers.

Big Blessings from Small Messes

2007-09-02T19:43:00.000-04:00

Today I took my neighbor’s, daughters with me to church. As I was enjoying the music, my little friend Sarah informed me that Eleanor was not feeling well. I went into the kids’ room to check on her and decided to stay there for the remainder of the service. I made her some tea that had mint in it, figuring it would help soothe her stomach. She felt better for a while and decided to lay on the floor while I was playing with the kids. I told her that if she rubbed her stomach in a circular motion it might help calm it down. Within minutes of rubbing her stomach, she sat up and vomited all over the rug. Patrice and I rushed the kids into another room and she took care of them while I took care of Eleanor. She was so embarrassed. I tried to calm her down as I helped her wash up and cleaned the mess off the floor. Luckily, I had an extra sweater in the car that she was able to change into. After I finished taking care of her and let her know it was okay and she shouldn't feel bad, she told me, “Did I ever tell you, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had?” I was completely shocked. It was not something I had expected to hear from an eight year old girl. It touched my heart to the point of tears.

Even in the midst of life's messes, God always does something to brighten your day and send you an encouraging word. It just so happens that today, He used my little friend Eleanor.

A Day Off!!!

2007-08-30T14:29:00.000-04:00

Wow, it feels good to get up and not have to do a thing. I take that back...I have homework. That's okay because it's at my own pace. I'm still trying to find balance in my life. Working, school, and play don't seem to go together, but I know it's possible. If everyone else can do it, I know I can. My only problem is that I am so used to a certain lifestlyle, and now, I have to basically let it die and form a new one.

I must say, I miss having my Mondays off. I would just lounge around, watch movies, read, write, or if I was in some strange mood, I would clean. Now I am lucky to get to my dishes. Which reminds me...I have to do them. There is so much rearranging I need/want to do. Some friends of mine bought me a new book shelf as a "thank you" for dog sitting for 10 days. Of course I wasn't expecting anything, but if they insisted, they couldn't have picked a more perfect gift. I was in need of another book shelf. I have books stacked all over. I try to make it look neat, but what's so neat about piles all over the floor? No need to complain...it will be taken care of this weekend. Cleaning, rearranging and ridding. Out with the old, in with the new (or used).

Well, scratch the idea of not having anything to do today. My friend just called and she and her kids (my god-children) are coming over so she can use my computer. I haven't seen them for a few weeks anyway, so it will be nice to spend some time with them today.

School Days

2007-08-21T17:10:00.000-04:00

This past week has definitely been the beginning of a new journey for me. I started school last Tuesday. A little intimidating, but I know I'll get the hang of it. I am enjoying my classes so far. I am hoping to get my schedule in order. Other than schoolwork, managing my time will probably be the most challenging for me. I am trying to get used to "their" way of turning in homework. Either it has to be typed or submitted through BlackBoard. One of my classes (Interpersonal Communications) are required to have online discussions as part of our homework. I enjoy the discussions. It's amazing how we can all hear the same thing and yet have different opinions about what's being said. It doesn't mean it's right or wrong...it's just different.

My Story

2007-07-29T16:06:00.000-04:00

It all started Friday, November 3, 2006. That evening I was saying goodbye to my family in CA. It was the first time I felt so sad to leave. All the other time’s I had visited, I had been glad to see everyone, but glad to return home to NC. This night was very different. My dad hugged me and cried. This is not something that is normal for him. He hugged me and I felt such sorrow. Thinking of it, even now, brings tears to my eyes. I couldn’t stop crying that evening. I went to bed crying. I woke up crying. I cried the whole plane ride home. Charles picked me up from the airport. I cried to myself in the car and that night. The pain that I felt was equivalent to a death. I kept thinking that something bad was about to happen to my dad or someone. Either way, I knew something was about to change.

I noticed something very different about my marriage that week. I started to feel as though things were not right. My thoughts reverted back to my dad. Maybe I was just homesick or depressed. That had to be it. I just missed my family, that’s all.

Then I received an e-mail from him stating he wanted to separate to be able to work out issues that we can’t work on together. I was very upset, but thought maybe he’s right. Maybe we need to be apart to be able to be together. Things just weren’t making any sense though.

I was so lost emotionally for the first week or so. I have never felt pain that deep before. Of all the things I had to go through as a child and young adult, nothing compares to the loss of a marriage relationship. I felt as though someone very close to me had died. I literally thought I was dying. I cried so hard that I would vomit. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t talk, couldn’t eat, or sleep. I was merely taking up space on this earth. I felt like a zombie.

Then something happened. As I was crying out to God, He heard me. I felt an intense amount of peace come over me. It was very much real, and it was very much God. Things in me started changing...something He has been trying to do in me for the past year. I allowed it this time. I started reading more and learning more. Dreams and desires I once had, came off the dusty shelves of my heart and started to become more of a reality. My heart and attitude towards things and people were changing and still continue to do so.

There are still friends and loved ones that don’t know what’s going on or happening. I didn’t want anyone thinking badly of him. I still don’t, but the truth of the matter is that he’s gone. He has come back and forth between me and someone else until this past March; that’s when I told him to stay away. I haven't seen or heard from him since.

So this is my story, (of the past 8 months) with a lot of things left out of course. I have a bucket filled with tears and sorrow, but I can honestly say that through it all, I have had more smiles and joy. God is continuously molding and shaping me. I can see things much differently now, and from a gentle heart rather than a judgmental spirit. I am able to look back and cherish the good things and leave behind the bad. My past has left scars, but God holds my future.

Refine Me

2007-07-28T15:22:00.001-04:00

My heart hurts, with pain, it aches
How much more of this life must I take?

I know in my weaknesses, You are made strong
But this load that I carry has gone far too long.

I want to be right, washed clean, made new
Please tell me now, what on earth should I do?

I want what’s best; I want Your will for my life
Without having to go through trials, of burden and strife.

Lord, mold me and make me into what You would have me be
Take my hand and lead the way, give me eyes that I may see

Refine me in Your love divine, but please don’t turn Your face
You’re here with me, but this fire’s hot; it’s not a comfort place.

Give me love and compassion, for others all around
Help me stand in Your Truth, where Your love may abound

You have pierced my heart; I’m no longer the same
Since You have taken, all my sin and my shame.

I walk upright, with my head held high
You say if I draw close to You, You also will be nigh.

Until the day You come for me, I will give You all my praise
Thanking You for Your infinite love and for Your wondrous grace.

© Andrea Rodriguez

~ Mis Queridos ~

2007-07-23T01:45:00.000-04:00

These beautiful babies on the left are my godchildren. They spent the weekend with me. We went to the park on Saturday and had lots of fun. Sunday we went to church and Destiny played with the other babies and Manny stayed with me...he actually remained quiet the whole time. We headed home for lunch. They were getting a little antsy, so Pat drew pictures for them to color as Ikehia (mom) and I prepared lunch. As soon as we started a movie I heard a knock at the door. More friends! My little neighbors. Every time they come to stay with their father they have to come over and visit with me.

So, it may have been a little crowded, but we had a bunch of fun eating, drinking smoothies and watching movies! I enjoyed my time with everyone and now I am enjoying time by myself.

Your Love

2007-07-19T00:33:00.000-04:00

I have never known a Love so True
Beautiful in every way,
So Divine, so Pure
Shines like the stars, radiant as the sun
Gentle as the rain, peaceful like a dove

Your Love is like an ocean,

Vast and majestic
The waves obey Your voice
The trees lift their arms to You
The birds sing Your praise
You tend to the lilies and clothe them
How much more do You care for me?
With You, I lack nothing
You are my All
I am nothing without You

Apart from You, I am lost
You have Captured me
In You I am free

I am Important!

2007-07-17T15:22:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt as though you weren’t good enough? Like you have absolutely nothing to add to those around you or to life in general? As believers, we learn that we are all many members of just one Body. Sounds a little strange doesn’t it? It’s easy to want to be the “important” part of the body. But what are the important parts? The eyes or the arms or maybe the legs. Have you ever tried to imagine your arms without hands, or you hands without fingers, or you fingers without nails? What about the ligaments, muscles and bones that enable us to move? What about our eyes? Not having eyelids would dry your eyes up and there would be no use for them. Eyelashes help keep your eyes safe from dust and things that may damage them as well. You see, these may seem like tiny things, but they are the parts that hold us together, they make us who we are.

Take a car for instance. You can have this beautiful, fully loaded, top of the line car of your dreams. There’s one problem; you can’t drive it. It’s missing a fuse. Or, you’re driving down the highway and all of a sudden your tires go flying off the road. Why? You were missing a couple of lug nuts. You may be wondering, how could this happen to such a great car? It has everything it takes to make the perfect vehicle. How could such small, insignificant parts cause it to not start or run properly? Well, it’s simple; it’s missing a very important element. It is what completes the car. The whole car suffers because it lacks those “small” components.

The same is true for us. We may feel that just because we’re not teaching, preaching, or singing, we have nothing to offer. That is completely untrue. It’s the small parts that keep us together. No one is unimportant or insignificant in the Body of Christ.

There are three things that are taught in 1 Corinthians 12:12-30:

1. God has set each member in the body as He pleases…(v.18)
2. We need each other…(v.21)
3. If one member suffers, we all suffer, if one is honored, we all rejoice…(v.26)

So, yes, we are all very different, but we all need each other to function just as God intended. It takes us “small” folks to make sure the “big” things are accomplished.

My sister, My bride

2007-07-14T00:13:00.000-04:00

When I think of all the things, You’ve done and given me
How You sent Your only Son to die and set me free.
Why would You do such a thing, knowing I would let You down?
All the times I’ve been so passive, and failed to stand my ground.
But still You look at me so dear, with compassion, grace and love
And when I feel Your warm embrace, I know You are enough.
I want to do what’s in Your will, Lord lead me in Your way
Help me not to wander far, please keep me close today.
You have given me a song of praise, of love and gratitude
You’ve changed my heart, transformed my mind, and changed my attitude.

You’ve given me a strength, that can only come from You
Sometimes I wonder where I went, and whether this is true.
But I know it’s Your hand that has lead me this far
Because wherever true love abounds, there You are.
You’ve captured my heart with Your love divine
You call me Your sister, You call me Your bride.

Got Faith?

2007-07-08T11:09:00.000-04:00

Why do we seem to complain and whine about things we “think” we can’t do when we know full well, that’s where God is leading us? Do we honestly think that it’s all about us? Do we really think we have that much power and control over our situation or circumstance? Is whining really going to get us what we want? Well…sometimes. I kind of remember Him saying something along the lines of “Don’t worry…cast your cares…I will supply all your needs.” So, why the unnecessary worry? It’s not about me! It’s not what I can do. I am not in control. We see an impossible situation and say, “there is no way I can do that.” He says, “I can. Let Me show you.”

I was just there (whining away) a few days ago. I had made the decision to go back to school. It’s something I’ve wanted, but didn’t have the motivation that I do now. I was asking God, “How am I going to do this? There’s no way I can pay for all this, it’s so expensive and I really don’t want to take out a Student Loan.” I was at the point of giving up…and I hadn’t even started. Yesterday I received a letter in the mail stating that I have been approved for FA. I couldn’t believe it. I was so thankful and shocked. I had just applied for FA four days prior and I was already accepted and awarded. I couldn’t help, but laugh. Basically all my school, books and supplies will be covered. Not only that, but I’ll have money left over for living expenses!

God is so faithful! I don’t remember asking Him for His help in this process, but I was very careful to thank Him and give Him the glory.

Freedom Child

2007-07-04T12:02:00.002-04:00

My nephew is a year old today. Yep…he was born on Independence Day. There is something very significant about him being born on this day. You see, my sister, Ana, seemed to have always ran with the wrong crowd. There were many times we couldn’t find her; praying she were still alive. She was lost. She knew the way she needed to go, but she chose the easy way. To keep using substances that made her feel good. To kill the pain of childhood and young adulthood.

I remember getting a phone call from her in December 2005 stating she was pregnant. I thought to myself, “Oh Lord, what is going to come out of this? How can You allow this? She can barely take care of herself, how will she care for a child? Where will she live?” I remember her asking if I was mad at her, as if sensing my complete, lack of enthusiasm. “No, I’m not angry, but I’m not happy either,” I said.

I went for a surprise visit in October to see her and the baby. Boy was I surprised. She is such a good mother. Better than I could do. It’s almost as if mother’s have this built-in instruction manual of what to do and how to care for a baby. I am so proud of her. She and I have such a strong relationship through this. She has grown and matured. She even came out to see me for 3 weeks when I needed someone the most.

Wow. I am sitting here with many emotions. Wanting to smile and cry at the same time. She will be getting her diploma next June. I will definitely be flying out for that. It takes courage to go back to school after so many years. She will be the first sibling I get to see graduate! Improving herself is just another way she is showing love for her baby.

I call Isaac her Freedom Child. Not because he was born on the 4th of July, but because God used this child to set her free. Free from all the garbage this world had to offer her. Free from selling herself short. Free from bondage. Free to be all that God intended for her to be!

Happy 1st Birthday Isaac and thank you for what you’ve done to my sister.

...He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound...Therefore if the Son makes you free, you are free indeed. Isaiah 61:1a, John 8:36

Happy 16th Birthday Jo Jo

2007-07-01T20:10:00.001-04:00

I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since my baby brother was born! I feel so old. He was so sweet and innocent when he was little. My little love bug. I can honestly say the same today. He is a good boy. I am so proud of both of my brothers, considering all the things they’ve been through. At such a young age they both inspire me. They are going into their sophomore year of High School. They are both very active in church and the school band.

My brother Joseph (Jo Jo) Plays the French horn, Mellophone and taught himself how to play the Piano. He has an ear for music. He plays the Mellophone in the marching band. His school has the best marching band in the West Coast, in which they will be performing in China next summer. He also plays the French horn in the school band. He is planning to play the Bassoon so that he may be more eligible for a scholarship in music.

I love you Joseph and I’m so proud of who you are! Happy Birthday!

Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice...

2007-06-28T19:40:00.001-04:00

Oh the joy of little girls.

I got to spend the afternoon with my neighbor’s girls. They are so precious and sweet. It’s funny how I have no problem entertaining kids, but when it comes to adults…forget it. I enjoy doing the things I never did when I was a child. Tea Parties are my specialty. The great thing about tea parties is that there is no such thing as etiquette when you are giving one for little girls. You are the most wonderful person to the one’s you give your attention to. They look up to those who let them know they are worth something.

I was able to tell them that God created them unique and beautiful and if anyone tells them differently, they are not speaking the truth. God says this about you and when someone says otherwise, they are calling God a liar. I asked them if they knew this to be true and the oldest said no. It made my heart sad. How many times do little girls look to someone to show them how special they are? And how many times do they search in the wrong places? Too many times. I’m not a mother, but I try every chance I get to show kids they are valuable. If we don’t someone else will.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...Psalm 139:14

Contemplation

2007-06-23T12:45:00.000-04:00

As I lay awake tormented, by worries, thoughts and fears
I hear a Still Small Voice, “don’t be dismayed, I AM always here.”

I can’t go another night alone, it’s too painful, and I’m so scared
You’re not alone Dear One; I promised I’d be there.

I feel I’ve been defeated by life’s cruel, wicked ways
The vengeance is Mine says the Lord, your enemies I will slay.

I’m under attack, I can’t breath, I can’t move
Let Me fight your battles, let My love be proved.

I feel as if I’m hanging on by one measly little thread
Hold fast to my Promises, remember the Words I’ve said.

My mind is much too clouded, by confusion, pain and strife
Remember how I sent My Son; He died to give you Life.

I am much too tired; I can’t go on anymore
My child, it is I, who is knocking on your door.

I’m not sure you want to see this big mess I’ve gotten into
Cleansing is My specialty; I know just what to do.

Are you sure you want this broken heart, it’s not much to offer You
I Am the Lord who heals and binds, and takes away your blues.

I guess I have nothing to lose; I’ll take what You can give
Accept My love and hear My truth, so that you may live.

But it sounds all too easy, I’m not sure I heard You right
Come to Me with child like faith and I will be your Knight.

That’s it, that’s all, I just don’t understand
Trust Me, try Me and I’ll lead you by the hand.

Lord, forgive me for prolonging, and for my unbelief
I want to give you joy abundant and give you some relief.

Is it true that I will live forever in Your tender care?
Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth, and I promise you’ll be there.

Lord, I do believe, I do confess; please extend to me Your grace
Prepare yourself; the time is coming to see Me face to face.

Thank You for Your cleansing blood that took away my sin
The angels in heaven are now rejoicing, because you let Me in.

© Andrea Rodriguez

Interested?

2007-06-18T12:25:00.000-04:00

I had a good weekend. Saturday was very interesting. I got to hang out with an acquaintance that I have known for about 3 years, but now consider a friend. We have a lot in common, but are also very different. We are both passionate about certain things and want to give of ourselves in those areas. We spent the entire day going over some thoughts and ideas, talking and watching movies. It felt good to be open with someone other than the norm. I consider myself to be rather transparent, but usually don't offer information off the bat. I have to know that you are really interested in me and my life in order to go beyond superficial. Ask me questions and I will gladly share. Don't ask and I take it that you're not interested in me. And that's Okay.

Sunday was good as well. I enjoyed church and lunch with friends. Thought I was going to take a nap, but decided to go over to another friends' home. I had a good time. Still getting to know more people. Someone was bold enough to ask me about myself and current situation. I liked it. Ask, don't wonder. I'm not a mystery, just reserved in some ways.

Today is even better. Relaxing. I love Mondays! Sorry for those who have to work. These are my only days to "re-charge." I enjoy being around people and groups, but I need my down-time.

I am excited about the people that are being placed in my path and desires that are engraved in my heart and the new ones that are being deposited.

Still Waters

2007-06-11T19:59:00.000-04:00

I went to the mountains of Virginia this weekend with my family. It was beautiful. We took the kids to the river to play and swim. As I was floating down the river, there were parts where the water was very turbulent, then I would come to extensive parts that were still. I was glad whenever we’d come to the still waters. I would just lie there admiring the scenery and the vastness of God's creation. Nature is one of the biggest ways I can connect with my Creator.

Then it dawned on me. He wants for us to experience calmness and security, but it’s also necessary to allow us to experience the waves and crashes as well. In those times we are being molded, shaped, and sharpened. The question is who or what is changing us? Is it a person, our circumstance, or the Creator?

It’s easy to want to fight against the water when it gets rough. It’s almost silly because you know that the waves are likely to get the best of you. I knew I was going to fall off my raft and maybe scrape my knees or my arms on the rocks, but I just got back on and kept flowing down the stream. I knew the turbulence would only last a short time. I noticed the less I fought, the sooner I came to the still waters.

We are constantly trying to rebuke or fight against trials in our life. Why? We don’t like pain. It’s too much work. It hurts too much. But have you ever thought that maybe it’s just simply there to complete an unfinished work in us? It’s what makes us who we are. God wants to trouble our waters. He's saying, "get ready for the ride of your life. I am going to do things in and through you, that you never thought possible. I will take you places you never dared to dream." He’s stirring things up in us…not because He’s mean, but because He’s good.

So next time something uncontrollable happens…stop and ask God if He’s up to something before you start fighting against it. Embrace the turbulences…they don’t last very long. Through them you will encounter a Stillness that endures.

My Certainty

2007-06-03T23:10:00.000-04:00

There are two questions people continually ask me: (1) Do you regret the decision you had made? (2) Are you planning to move back to CA? My answer to both is NO. I would do it all over again, even knowing what I know now. There are so many things we can learn from trials and pain. There are so many opportunities for growth. I hold onto the things that are important to me and can only be hopeful that it will all turn out fine. BUT my certainty rests in God and the promises He has for my life. He doesn’t promise that my circumstances will turn out the way I want them to, but He does promise He will see me through it. Not only that, but He will be at my side the whole time…even carry me. I look back and wonder how things would’ve turned out if only I had done it this way or that way. I don’t know. Maybe it would’ve made a difference, maybe not.

Where would I be if this didn’t happen? Not where I am now. I am content with my life and with God in it. I am doing things I wouldn’t have done before and making healthy changes. Do I want it to work out? Absolutely. Is it going to leave scars? Sure. BUT God is so much bigger than me and my circumstance. It is through our suffering that we see His hand at work. I don’t know what the end results will be, but that’s OK because He does and His plans for me are good and hopeful. Don’t misunderstand me, there are moments that I struggle, BIG-time, but overall, things are going rather well. I have a good support system, good friends, and a GOOD GOD!

Jeremiah 29:11 I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Anxious

2007-06-01T06:09:00.000-04:00

Just sitting here
Midmorning
Sleepless
Mind is racing
Trying to make sense of things
Dreams shattered
Heart broken
Families torn
People wondering
No words of comfort
Can’t relate
Destructive thoughts
Tamed actions
What next?
Where are You?
I want You here
I need Your peace

Why?

2007-05-19T01:32:00.002-04:00

Why do we do things we don't want to and the things we should do, we don't? We all have struggles in one area or another. Will we ever just get it right? There are so many things I know I should be doing , but I don't. Why is that? Is it laziness or a lack of motivation? Disobedience? Whatever it is, I know that I am called to live by a "higher standard." It is a choice I need to make, not based on whether I want to or not. Do I want to be obedient? Yes. Do I fail at it? Oh Yeah! What then? Should I wallow in my pity and say "woe is me?" Or should I get back up and ask God to guide my next step, or to help me with my decision making? I think that asking for help is the best bet. We (I) seem to constantly lean on myself or my own judgements for the "right answers," when in reality, I don't have the right answers. Only He does. I think it's about time to allow Him the right to lead and guide me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5,6

Mother's Day

2007-05-13T10:35:00.000-04:00

Mothers Day had always been a difficult thing for me to celebrate until now. As I look back and reflect, I came to realize that any woman who has made an impact on my life was my Mother. I have had several Mothers and still continue to collect them. My friends, my aunts, my teachers, my cousins and my sisters. The list goes on. There were many people along the way who have loved me, given me advice, and led me in the right direction. I love all my mothers dearly, and although they cannot take the place of my mother, they were there for me when she was unable to be.

Today is a day to recognize our mothers and honor them. Thank You for all your hard work, your love, your strength, your prayers, your tears, your hugs, your listening ears. The things you do, big and small, do not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

A good woman is hard to find, and is worth far more than diamonds. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, Her children respect her and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all! Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Taken from Prov. 31

Invitation

2007-05-11T10:13:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning with the birds chirping outside my window. It makes it much easier to get out of bed when they're up singing. It's almost like they're saying, "hey, come join us, life is wonderful today." OKAY. I'm joining you this morning. I want to be part of this adventure with you.

If you can’t hear birds in the morning; be invited to wake up by programming your coffee pot. Wake up to a lawn mower or construction workers. Wake up to your dog, cat or kids jumping on your bed. Wake up to your bunny gnawing at his water bottle. Wake up to some good music. It doesn’t matter how, just WAKE UP! Enjoy life! Things may not always go the way you want, or work out the way you planned, but God has a plan. His plans are much better than ours anyway. In order to live life to the fullest and enjoy what we have and who we are we need to respond to His invitation and wake up.

The Treasure

2007-05-07T01:46:00.000-04:00

When I first met You, I knew what I had to do
I saw the crowd of men, I pushed my way through

I looked into your eyes, I could barely breathe
I gasped for air and fell to my knees

I opened my mouth, unable to speak
So I took my oil and poured it out on Your feet

Only You knew my heart, and knew I was scared
I started to cry, wiped Your feet with my hair

People thought I was crazy, they did not understand
They had no idea it was all part of Your plan

They thought I was wasting a valuable find
To lavish my love on someone so kind

You were so gentle, so loving and true
The treasure was not the oil, the real Treasure is You

© Andrea Rodriguez

Double Portion

2007-05-05T03:46:00.000-04:00

He never ceases to amaze me! As I was delighting over the fact that my sister sent me pictures and a puppet, I also received a package from my best friend. She sent me a "care package," which consisted of a bright, red purse, a lavender wallet, lip gloss, lipstick, lotion and an organizer. Like I previously stated, God is funny. Not only did He bless me once, but He gave me a “double portion.” Yesterday was not just a good day, it was a great day. Not because I got presents from loved ones, but because it was divinely orchestrated to arrive when I needed it the most. It was another one of His reminders.

…Please let a double portion of Your Spirit fall on me.
2 Kings 2:19
You are my portion O Lord… Psalms 119:57
…God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 74:26

SonShine for a rainy day...

2007-05-04T19:15:00.001-04:00

It's rather gloomy outside today, and raining. I was on my way home from work, feeling pretty good until I passed him on the road, driving her car. Then my heart dropped. I expected all these feelings to come over me. Nothing. Just thoughts and nervousness.

I came home and checked my mailbox. I received a letter from my sister, Ana. Inside were pictures of my beautiful nephew. Also, enclosed was a letter and a little finger puppet. The letter stated that she saw this puppet and that it had my name written all over it. It's a Ladybug!

God is so gracious...and funny. I say funny because He knows I love ladybugs. Gracious because He knew exactly what I needed at that exact moment. Family. Love. It was just a simple reminder that He is here for me, even in ways as simple as pictures and finger puppets.

Sisters

2007-05-01T12:15:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how we came from the same family, same parents, but are completely different. Different looks, styles, sizes, personalities...not to mention, hair.

We have had far more downs than ups. Each of us has had more responsibilities (in our younger years), seen and experienced more pain than one might experience in a lifetime. We've all been through a lot. Yet, we can still smile because we know that the more important things in life are sticking together, making things work. Persevering. Family.

I look at each of them with all their gifts, talents, and even flaws. They're beautiful. They're my sisters.